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welcome -
this is my method on how to write a pubnight email - in 3 easy steps
1) develop of a silly premise
I've often wondered if any PNers read each email and attempt to glean additional meaning out of each pithy phrase - I do not - in fact, I don't actually read the emails... even my own - usually I write these things with a blindfold, and possibly while wearing a gimp suit - once or twice I've actually imbibed as much coffee as humanly possible (at least for me) and written the PN email solely by way of uncontrolled jittery hand movements (similar to the Jack Spicer poetry method, but without the alcohol poisoning, skin problems - or, for that matter, the gay bar in which to write in) - proving once and for all that yes, a monkey could write a better PN email than I can... probably a drunk monkey... in a gimp suit...
2) think about important things going on in the world - and then don't write about them...
the ability to completely and utterly ignore current events, or to focus on current events that honestly have no real bearing on anything... unless they prevent drinking... is a tedious task - however, the reward is great for those willing to push their way through the mess of infoganda that surrounds are daily life and instead focus on something like "The Magic Garden", numerology humor, or "the number of times I just heard the word 'ephemera' on WNYC radio" (in this case 26 times in the past 10 minutes - I'm not actually sure what ephemera means... I thought it was a drug from Merck... ) - I don't actually know what the reward is... but someday... yes, someday - I will... and oh! it will be great...
3) insert embarrassing references to people we don't see at pubnight anymore or people we don't want to see anymore...
3.1) ask tk if I really should send whatever I wrote in step 3
3.1.1) delete embarrassing reference from step 3
4) write actual information about where PN is
this is a little tricky - first, you need to know where pubnight will be... and that secret will be left for another email... then you need to replace the common set of PN fields (date, time, where, food, backup, url... etc...) with seemingly random works plucked from the subconscious (monkey, tango, dongle, woody, pamplemousse, etceteras, etc...)
often, this is an attempt to keep those who can't figure out where pubnight is from actually going to pubnight - however, these people tend to follow others in and also cannot understand how to subscribe themselves to the mailing list - or why, if they are subscribed, I keep deleting their address...
selection of the backup bar is often the hardest thing to do - usually we want to pick a bar that we would want to go to, but that is uncomfortable/crowded/dirty enough so that we won't actually want to go there for a normal pubnight... I remember when we didn't have backup bars and would stand outside of the selected PN bar like tuffs from the outsiders waiting for stragglers to arrive so we could find a place to drink - ah... the old days... stay gold pony boy... stay gold
12) do NOT use the word 'bonobo' anywhere in the email - I cannot stress the importance of this enough... you never know what you might invoke if you do... really... I'm serious...
IX) list people who have a birthday
we usually make this up - but most people don't complain since they get free drinks and gifts when we declare their birthday for the 3rd time this year...
L) end email with obscure reference to something, well... obscure
but not obscure the way you've already been... take it in a new direction... go ahead... you can do it
personally, I like to use the 60's cult favorite, "The Prisoner" or sesame street "brought to you by ..." for my endings - but they've become too droll... that's the real reason why I don't write these emails anymore
a2) go through email and insert ellipses (is that the plural of ellipsis?) in as many places as possible
I have a script that... does this for me...
anyway - if you've gotten this far by actually reading, and not by scrolling down (oh, believe me - I'll know if you did...), then rejoice - for pubnight will be:
NOTE: there is no backup... - I feel this place is REALLY WORTH GOING TO, especially if you haven't been there before - but you may want to dress warm, we'll be outside and it might get cold, although I guess we could also drink inside...
your triumvirate
-k,p,m et. al.