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This week, my passing birthday got me reflecting on a number of things. Whether I can still get away with telling people I'm in my mid-30s. How long has it really been since I last attended PN NYC. And if I decided to hijaak the selection via the traditional birthday privileges, are there even any bars left I still like?
You see, my proclaiming a bar my favorite is the kiss of death for that establishment. It's unclear how the correlation and causation are intertwined. Does my being a regular make the owners realize their goals of filling the bar with hot chicks have so clearly failed that they just give up? Are my bar priorities so out of whack that by definition, any bar my twisted brain likes is guaranteed to drive away the majority of bar goers? So many possiblities...
Lest you think I'm just being paranoid again (which is completely justifiable given the fact that they are out to get me), let's take a quick trip through the history of Greg's favorite bars found through (and repeatedly visited during) PN trips.
Barmacy: Fell for this place on my 2nd PN, #70; probably the documented "valium and rectal probes", always a preferred one/two combo of mine. Our last trip was #213, which produced one of the best pictures of me ever: http://www.pubnight.com/nyc/pn213/data/19.html By #336, it had changed to the far less unique tiki bar "Otto's Shrunken Head" which we only went to once. Rum is just no substitute for valium.
Hell: Loved the drink specials from our first visit at #117. From #200 to #400 this was a regular "multiple of 50" venue choice, and it moved to my clear favorite place to go after Barmacy closed. What happened? Perhaps it froze over. (cymbal crash)
Korova Milk Bar: PN started going at #204, I missed that one but made the quick fast return trip at #215. Home to an number of firsts for me: first time I ever saw anime. First time I drunkenly fondled a headless mannequin boob. First time I unintentionally combined pain medicine with alchohol (followed closely by doing so intentionally). Our last PN trip was #471, in its regular role as backup bar when the original one becomes lame late at night. It closed in late 2006, only to be reopened a year later in White Plains. WTF? Who needs a cool bar to drink at in White Plains?
Wait, I was supposed to pick a bar that's actually still open...as bars I used to like but haven't killed yet by naming them a favorite go, Ace Bar was the first that came to mind. Apparently that location remains overrun on Wednesday nights with organized Skee Ball players. While a fan of that pasttime myself, does this really need to be organized as if it were a sport? I think the only way adult "league" play can get lamer now is if they start a Manattan hopscotch tourney. While Ace Bar might not be closed, it's dead to us.
Motor City we haven't been to since September of 2004. Why not? Hmmm...that was just after I moved away. There's another correlation or causation question for you to ponder.
Recent reviews suggest they may still not accept credit cards, so much like when I go out to purchase more valium and pain meds you'd be wise to bring cash.
-Greg, who still knows how to hack into triumvirate powers
P.S. If you don't have any dinner plans beforehand, I'll be dining at Gus's Place: http://www.gusplacenyc.com/ around 6:30; let me know if you'd like to join me.