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Ladies and Gentlemen,
I hope you'll join me this week for what may be THE LAST PUBNIGHT EVER!
As you may know already, the world is ending this Saturday. Now, certain people say the Christian God will cast judgment on humanity and scorch the earth. Those people are idiots. Don't listen to them. I'll tell you how the world will really end in four days:
Ragnarök
Yes, on Saturday the Norse gods will be killed in an epic battle and then the whole world will be flooded. I hope you can swim!
Since there's really nothing I can do to prevent Saturday's big event, I'll just give suggestions for appropriate attire instead:
Tanned hides, wolf fur, elderberry branches
Leather thongs
Reindeer mukluks
Black Heimdall chic
Antler millinery
Vintage Alexander McQueen Fall/Winter 2003*
Loki realness
While you're getting your outfits ready, please take some time to join us tomorrow at The City Tavern in the Village. We were there a little over a year ago, and I believe people generally enjoyed it. I've reserved some space for us under my name.
- Dan and the PubNight Vikings
*It's automatically vintage when they're dead, darlings.